Relationships
How would you describe your relationships? Relationships are the ways one or more people are connected, or how they behave toward each other. People rely on each other throughout their lives and build relationships that help them achieve their goals, maintain their health, grow in knowledge and skills, and find happiness, joy, and companionship. As we move through life, our relationships can grow, expand, and end depending on circumstances. Some relationships remain strong because of family, proximity, and/or experiences that form lasting bonds. We form relationships in our families, schools, communities, clubs or organizations, and jobs. In many cases, opportunities in life emerge because of our relationships with others.
The story of Arthur Ashe’s life can be told through the relationships that he formed within his family, in his local community, across the tennis community, and with influential citizens around the world. Arthur recognized the value of building good relationships with people – even those he did not agree with – in order to achieve his personal, professional, and public goals. Arthur began life with a strong, loving relationship with his mother, who taught him to read at age four and instilled a passion for reading. She introduced Arthur to National Geographic magazines, which inspired him to travel near and far. Unfortunately, his mother died when Arthur was still a young boy, and he was devastated. Soon, he learned the importance of family and community relationships, which helped him keep his mother’s memory alive while he persisted in achieving his goals.
Arthur’s relationships with his tennis coaches, teammates, and opponents paint a colorful picture of his life. Through these relationships, he learned not only how to excel as a tennis player, but also how to conduct himself respectfully and collaboratively. He benefited from the experiences and perspectives of others inside and outside of the tennis world, and he developed his skills in the game while developing his values, character, and leadership. Even when his relationships were difficult and tense, Arthur recognized the immediate and long-term value of maintaining positive relationships with players, coaches, news reporters, and fans in tennis. In sports, he built relationships with athletes from other sports and found common challenges that helped them bond and identify appropriate responses to the issues they faced. Beyond sports, Arthur formed important relationships with political and human rights leaders who supported his growth as a social justice activist and global leader.
Learning and Leadership Activities
A World of Relationships
On a piece of paper, draw a circle with your name at the center. Next, draw circles around (and close to) the circle with your name, and fill each circle with the name of someone with whom you have a close relationship. Draw lines to connect the circle with your name to each of those circles. If any of those names have relationships with each other, draw lines to connect those people with each other. Now add more circles moving out to the edges of your paper. Fill each circle with the names of additional people with whom you have a relationship. Because these are farther away from your name at the circle, these might be relationships that are not as close or secure as those in your inner circle. However, these relationships are still important in your life. Consider adding the names of your neighbors, teachers, health care providers, store clerks, community helpers, etc. Be sure to add lines that connect you to these people and also lines that connect them to each other.
When you are done, look at your paper and consider the many relationships that are important to you, and fill your life with opportunities to learn, grow, and contribute. Highlight one or more of these names to identify relationships that make you happy. Draw a box around one or more of these names that challenge you in ways that might be difficult, but important in your life. Draw a triangle around one or more of these names of people you want to build a better, stronger relationship with.
Influences that Matter
Place your hand on a piece of paper and spread your fingers so you can trace the outline of your hand. Now, think about the people who have had the greatest influence in your life. On each digit/finger, write the name of one person who has influenced you in some way. Another way to think about this is to ask, “Who has given me a hand to help me become the person I am today?” Think about your family members, friends, neighbors, teachers, coaches, mentors, church or organization leaders, and more. Feel free to decorate or add writing to your “hand” to show how or why this person has been a positive influence in your life. Now share your hand drawing and influences with a partner. As a group, discuss what you learned about your influences through reflection and sharing with others.
Write a Letter
We never want to take our relationships for granted. In other words, relationships require time, attention, and nurturing. Think about one person who you have a relationship with. Maybe this person is someone you have not spoken with or seen lately. Maybe this person is someone you have had conflict with and want to move forward to repair the relationship. Maybe this is a relationship that is so important to you that you need to say something special.
Now, take time to write a letter to this person and say the things that will support your relationship. Let the person know what your relationship means to you, what you have learned from this person or because of your relationship together, and what your hopes are for the future of your relationship. After writing and reviewing the letter, be sure to send the letter to this important person in your life!